Holy cow, do we love pizza at Urban Holiday Lofts! We can’t even begin to tell you how many of our collective romantic relationships ended with our significant other breaking down and asking us with tear-filled eyes and bated breath, who we love more: pizza or them. The last syllable barely pushed from their strained throats, because they already deeply suspect it. And then our long pause after they ask, but before we answer, only confirms what they already know. That their flesh and blood, their organic, human, thoughts and emotions, as pleasing as they are, are no match for our eternal and ominous mistress, with heaving cheese and tomato sauce bosom, and greasy, oregano speckled lips that whisper in our ears, well into the night, “take me, I’m yours.”

5. Francesca’s Forno – Yes, this is technically a chain, but we’ve lived in

Chicago for years, and have never seen another Francesca’s. They have a wood-fire oven at this one (and possibly every other one, again, we don’t know, we’ve never been to any other one), which we believe (somehow) plays a crucial role in executing quality pizza. But, really, it’s not the pizza that brings us here. It’s the design, location, and fact that we’ve gotten to at least 1st base with every person we’ve ever brought here on a date. The restaurant is a really cool build-out with all sorts of elements that we (indirectly) ripped off for our other place. And it has the corner (pun intended) on the best location in Wicker Park, right at the 6-corners intersection. Also, it’s attached to Glazed & Infused, everyone’s favorite sporadically open doughnut shop.

4. Lou Malnati’s – Here’s the dirty little secret of deep dish pizza: Chicagoans (with the exception of Madeline in HR) do not eat it. It’s something we only ever eat when our parents are in town and we have to walk around like unpaid tour guides, dispensing Chicago-like experiences they can take pictures of and report back to their co-workers in Scottsdale. A recent exposé on WBEZ confirmed our suspicions when it reported that, according to best sources, deep dish makes up only 9% of pizza’s sold in the city. But, if you’re reading this, you probably don’t actually live in Chicago, and are planning on doing exactly what our moms do which is shamelessly embarrass yourself in spite of us begging you not to. So why not just get it over with and order yourself up a nice baked cheese log casserole masquerading as a pizza from Chicago’s oldest and most famous pan-based pizza purveyor?

3. Santullo’s Eatery – Probably the best way to describe Santullo’s is a traditional mid-century pizzeria that got taken over by a gang of gutter punks. We’re confident that if we did any research for this blog (which we would never do), we’d learn that Santullo’s was started by some old Italian guy who immigrated to Chicago in the 1940s and lovingly crafted pizzas for 50-years until he died of flour lung and his Crass-obsessed grand nephew took over the family business and converted it into a cover operation for him and his friends to do speed and give each other prison tattoos. Somehow the quality hasn’t diminished and their still able to turn out enormous New York Style slices on a daily basis. Also, no better lunch special in Wicker Park than their $2 slices Monday to Friday.

2. Dimo’s – Dimo’s has a menu that seems to have been dreamt up by a stoned 5th Grade Class. You know those mix-and-match picture games where you have to match up the head, torso, and legs of a cartoon character? Dimo’s is like that, but the torso is always pizza. It yields such imprudent items like: Mac n’ Cheese [pizza]; Bean Burrito [pizza]; Malört [pizza]; and Game of Thrones [pizza]. Oh, and the Wicker Park location (unlike the Lakeview location) serves craft beer, and is open late (conveniently for when you’re most likely to be stoned).

1. Piece – We know this list is for best pizza places around Urban Holiday Lofts, but Piece is easily a contender for best pizza place in the city, and furthermore, the United States. If you spend anytime looking into this, you’ll see that we’re right. Piece specializes in the regional favorite pizza of southwestern New England known as New Haven-style, which is why you shouldn’t pull the J.V. move of ordering your Piece pizza in any style other than traditional Plain style. Your mouth (despite your ever-widening waisteline) will thank you. Expect thin crust, parmesan cheese, a boat-load of garlic, and our endearing respect.

And if the pizza weren’t

enough to win you over, the place brews its own variety micro suds so deliciously chalk-full of toasty malts, citrusy fresh hops, and sweet, delicious alcohol, European beers snobs trip over themselves to adorn it with medals and trophies.

Also, this happened:
That’s right, kids. All the surviving members of Nirvana, the producer of In Utero, and that one dude from Cheap Trick that plays 5-guitars at once. How could they be wrong?

Other Pizza Places in the neighborhood:

Sarpino’s – Lord knows we’ve made worse mistakes than having at a Sarpino’s pizza at 2am on a Sunday. Also, if you order online, you get 15% off.

Crocodile Lounge – It’s free when you order a drink. How can you not eat it?

My Pie Pizzeria – Back when we had a soul-crushing desk job, My π was our only escape from the monotony of neckties, office gossip, and uncooperative copiers.