So the 2014 Pitchfork Music Festival set times were just announced. Have a look:

FRIDAY, JULY 18 – gates at 3pm
8:30pm – (Green) Beck
7:20pm – (Red) Giorgio Moroder
7:15pm – (Blue) Avey Tare”s Slasher Flicks
6:25pm – (Green) Sun Kil Moon
6:15pm – (Blue) SZA
5:30pm – (Red) Sharon Van Etten
5:15pm – (Blue) The Haxan Cloak
4:35pm – (Green) Neneh Cherry
4:15pm – (Blue) Factory Floor
3:30pm – (Red) Death Grips
3:20pm – (Blue) Hundred Waters

SATURDAY, JULY 19 – gates at 12pm
8:30pm – (Green) Neutral Milk Hotel
7:45pm – (Blue) FKA Twigs
7:25pm – (Red) St. Vincent
6:45pm – (Blue) The Field
6:15pm – (Green) Danny Brown
5:45pm – (Blue) Kelela
5:15pm – (Red) tUnE-yArDs
4:45pm – (Blue) The Range
4:15pm – (Green) Pusha T
3:45pm – (Blue) Mas Ysa
3:20pm – (Red) Cloud Nothings
2:50pm – (Blue) Empress Of
2:30pm – (Green) Wild Beasts
1:55pm – (Blue) Circulatory System
1:45pm – (Red) Ka
1:00pm – (Green) Twin Peaks

SUNDAY, JULY 20 – gates at 12pm
8:30pm – (Green) Kendrick Lamar
7:45pm – (Blue) Hudson Mohawke
7:25pm – (Red) Grimes
6:45pm – (Blue) DJ Spinn
6:15pm – (Green) Slowdive
5:45pm – (Blue) Majical Cloudz
5:15pm – (Red) Real Estate
4:45pm – (Blue) Jon Hopkins
4:15pm – (Green) Schoolboy Q
3:45pm – (Blue) Dum Dum Girls
3:20pm – (Red) Earl Sweatshirt
2:50pm – (Blue) Isaiah Rashad
2:30pm – (Green) Deafheaven
1:55pm – (Blue) Perfect Pussy
1:45pm – (Red) DIIV
1:00pm – (Blue) Speedy Ortiz
1:00pm – (Green) Mutual Benefit

It’s pretty overwhelming. So many great acts. How can you possibly decide? Don’t worry. You won’t have to. We’ve done all the deciding for you. Just print out the following, show up to Union Park on July

18^th, and enjoy.

FRIDAY

3:30pm – (Red) Death Grips – It’s kind of weird having Death Grips be the first band on the first day, because they’re definitely the band we are most afraid of. Not joking. Stefan Burnett is a scary looking dude. And Zach Hill doesn’t even tune his drums. That sort of reckless intimidation is best set aside for the last day. But look at it as you taking your semester final on the first day of class. Perhaps best to get it out of the way up front.

4:15pm – (Blue) Factory Floor – If you survive Death Grips, hurry over to the Blue Stage to catch London’s Factory Floor. There’s a lot of talk about them being post-industrial, post-new rave, and post-post-punk, but just think of them as the post-Death Grips band you’re going to watch before migrating to the Red Stage.

5:30pm – (Red) Sharon Van Etten – No disrespect to Neneh Cherry and the Haxan Cloak, but Sharon Van Etten is our girl. (a) She’s a total babe and we are in love with her; (b) She’s on the same record label as all our other favorite bands; (c) Tramp was one of our fav recs of 2012; and (d) Her new record, which we think is a concept album about being driven to Walley World, is making a strong run at our fav rec of 2014.

6:25pm – (Green) Sun Kil Moon – Sure Mark Kozelek can sing a song, but so can everyone at Pitchfork. We’re not going to hump it all the way over to the Green Stage from the Red Stage just to watch some shlub whose only claim to fame is writing excellent songs, recording them and then playing them live. YAWN. That’s old hat. What else can this guy do?

7:15pm – (Blue) Avey Tare”s Slasher Flicks – Nothing about Avey Tare’s Slasher Flicks makes sense. But then again, this was the cover of Avey Tare’s last record:

8:30pm – (Green) Beck – We would probably skip Beck all together and get a head start on throwing back Sky Hooks at the Revel Room, but there’s a chance Beck will pull a Saturday Night Live and bring J. Tillman out with him. Wouldn’t want to miss that.

SATURDAY

1:00pm – (Green) Twin Peaks – It’s not just because they’re When you buy-detox.com/shop/hair-drug-test-detox-products the body you free up your organs to function the way they should. from Chicago and we’re friends with one of the members. Twin Peaks really do rock, in a sort of a Replacements, we’re-not-really-trying-to-rock-so-if-you-do-perceive-us-as-rocking-it’s-only-by-accident-and thanks-we-guess way.

1:55pm – (Blue) Circulatory System – This is a good band to see to whet your appetite for the Neutral Milk Hotel performance that will ensue later that evening.

2:50pm – (Blue) Empress Of – Is it just us or do Wild Beasts strike you as a little too earnest to be playing an outdoor music festival.

3:20pm – (Red) Cloud Nothings – This band really embodies two of our favorite things: punk music and the Midwest. Also, this song is flawless:

4:15pm – (Green) Pusha T – You know how when you look up a word in the dictionary, there are different definitions of the same word to include all the different ways the word is used. You could fill a dictionary with all the ways the word “Hip-Hop” is used. It’s not just rhyming, it’s <astyle=”color: #f89406;” href=”http://rocawear.com/”>clothes, it’s politics, it’s transportation, it’s modern medicine. But in terms of just straight up rapping, there’s no better MC alive than Push T.

5:15pm – (Red) tUnE-yArDs – Everyone always talks about Merrill Garbus when they talk about this band. But what about that bass player? Dude really shreds the low end.

6:15pm – (Green) Danny Brown – This guy seems nuts. Probably because of where he’s from.

7:25pm – (Red) St. Vincent – We weren’t totally sold on Annie Clark. Then we saw the 2014 Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame Induction and wow! Just watch:

8:30pm – (Green) Neutral Milk Hotel – Oh like you could write a better post-folk grunge World War II Anne Frank concept album featuring the hand saw?

SUNDAY

1:55pm – (Blue) Perfect Pussy – It’s not that we like Perfect Pussy so much as we hate the fact that Sky Ferreira is going out with the guy from DIIV. Why, Skye, why? We thought we had something!

2:30pm – (Green) Deafheaven – These guys are SOOO good. We were just blasting Sunbather in the Urban Holiday Lofts lobby this afternoon. We like them so much, we’re probably going to duck out of Perfect Pussy early to get a spot in front of the Green Stage.

3:20pm – (Red) Earl Sweatshirt – We still haven’t figured out what was more shocking to find out about the OFWGKTA crew: that one of them is gay or them is a clean living born-again Christian.

4:15pm – This is a good time for a coffee/cigarette/spliff break.

5:15pm – (Red) Real Estate – No band with two guitars, bass, and drums from New Jersey has rocked any less than Real Estate.

6:15pm – (Green) Slowdive – Keep those eyes firmly fixed on your shoes.

7:25pm – (Red) Grimes – You French-Canadian girls do it to us every time.

8:30pm – (Green) Kendrick Lamar – Opening for Yeezus, heisting the Grammy’s, now closing the 2014 Pitchfork Music Festival. This guy sure has gotten a lot of mileage out of one album. But whatever you think about Kendrick Lamar, you have to admit this is the best prime time musical performance that’s been on TV in years: